Journal of an Old Jedi: Two

My failure was absolute and terrible. I was so confident, in the brashness of my youth, that I could train young Anakin as well as any Master, as well as Yoda. He was the Chosen One – on his shoulders rested the fate of us all, yet I took upon myself the responsibility eagerly, confidently. I thought I could teach him to control his fear, his anger, his ambition. I was wrong. This was my first failure.

I sensed his growing attachment to another, in a manner unsuitable to a Jedi. I said nothing, did nothing to warn him that such things bring unbalance, bring fear that can twist one to the dark side. I turned away, I ignored it, I hoped it would resolve itself on its own without my interference. This is my second failure.

I was not there when he was tempted, when he was weak. I left him alone and unaided when the full power of the Emperor and his own fear weighed upon him. This is my third failure.

I did not spare him, or aid him, or finish him, or weep over him when in anguish he reached out to me, crippled and scarred by the fires of Mustafar. He cursed me then, with what little strength he had left. His anger and hate left me scarred too. I walked away. I abandoned him to the flames, to the dark side, to death. This is my last and greatest failure; for this alone I shall never forgive myself.

The galaxy has paid for my mistakes. It suffers under the hand of Darth Vader, a monster I helped create as much as the Emperor. And I hide here on a barren planet and do nothing to stop him.

Because of the boy. It is his destiny to face the man that was once his father, to break the chains of tyranny, to bring peace and freedom. I know this to be true. The spirit of my old master has helped me peer into the future through the mystery of the Force; the boy is our last hope.

And yet he is not the only child of Anakin Skywalker. So long have I focused on the son that I often forget the daughter. I wonder where she is now, and what her life must have been like growing up in royalty on Alderaan, and what part she is to play in what is coming. The Force must be strong in her, as well. She, too, is a child of destiny, and destiny's children are never spared.

Last night I felt a battle rage above this quiet planet. I had not felt the surge of combat in many years. Once it was the heartbeat by which I lived my life. In my exile I have known only quiet and peace and isolation.

There is no doubt now. I have hid from the growing conflict, and it has found me. It will not be long before it is time to leave this place.